Several months ago, eight year old Elizabeth climbed into my lap and asked, “Daddy, why do brides wear veils?” I looked at Regina and smiled as my bride smiled back waiting to see how I managed this one. In an instant, the leading of the Holy Spirit to be sure, I decided to give Beth her first sex education talk.
I started by asking Beth what we place around the Tabernacle in church. “A veil,” was the correct response, though Beth looked a bit puzzled by the non sequitur. “And what does the Priest place over the chalice and ciborium, which also hold the Blessed Sacrament?” “A veil,” was the correct response. Beth was beaming; she was on a roll. “And what sign do we use to indicate that Jesus dwells within the Tabernacle?” “The sanctuary lamp,” came the response. Correct, but secondary. The veil, going back to the Tent of the Meeting in the desert and later the Temple in Jerusalem has always been the sign that God dwells within. Beth soaked up the new material like a sponge.
I could hear Dr. Scott Hahn of Franciscan University giving a lecture where he made this connection, “That which is veiled is that which is Holy”.
“Every one of our bodies is not only the tabernacle of our souls, but also of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. So every person’s body is sacred Beth. But women’s bodies have an added dimension of the sacred. When you grow up, God will use your body to make your babies, just as He used Mamma’s to make you, Joseph and little Regina. So when you get married and I walk you down the aisle, that veil will tell your husband that your body is sacred to God and he is to treat you and your body with reverence. Don’t forget, Jesus could have hopped off of a cloud. He chose to be born of a woman, and that makes every woman so much more sacred.”
“Oh, I get it,” was the reply. We could see the light bulb go on. Beth really did get it. She’s told a great number of people all about it too.
From the gleam in Regina’s eyes, it was obvious that she loved this first step down the road of Beth’s sexual maturation.
I think we go wrong when discussing contraceptives and their ill-effects as the substance of sex education. It misses the mark by a mile. We’re Holy, fearfully and wonderfully made by God; which is why St. Paul tells us to glorify God in our bodies. Sex isn’t dirty. Our human sexuality is one of the greatest goods of all creation. At only eight years old, I couldn’t tell Beth the other half of that good, that she and her husband will use their bodies to forge inseparable bonds of passionate love and selfless devotion. I’ll tell her in due course. There’s simply no room for premarital sex in that equation. Forgetting sexually transmitted diseases, which afflict 1/4 of all girls by their nineteenth birthday, 80% of all adults during their lifetimes according to CDC, premarital sex corrodes that sense of the sacred and the dual, inseparable purposes for which sex was made: Unitive and Procreative.
All sex education MUST begin here: teaching a reverential love for what God has made. Little girls dream of being beautiful brides. Passionate daddies look beyond the wedding day to their daughters being good and faithful wives and mothers, to them marrying men who will honor and cherish them. Therefore, we fathers need to look in the mirror each morning when we shave and make sure that the guy looking back at us is a sound role model for our sons and duaghters.
That’s the best sex education of all.
Hi Gerard,
I really love your articles and find them to be really relevant especially in our time. Permission to share the latest article on facebook page. Am also in the I OPPOSE THE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH BILL in facebook and am thinking of posting it there too.
Keep up the good work and kudos!
Janina
Janina,
I’m flattered that you would wish to post the article. Permission granted to post anything you see here. As with all authors, I just ask that you give appropriate attribution as to source😉 .
God Bless,
Gerry
Hi Gerard, I’m delighted to have found your blog-it’s one I’m going to be visiting frequently.
Your last 2 paras above sum up the essence of parental responsibility in passing on (to borrow a phrase) the truth and meaning of human sexuality.
I thought I’d spread the word about your excellent blog via a short post on mine, in which I copied a picture of your lovely family. Hope this is OK, if not, please let me know and I will take down the photo.
God bless you,
Kate
Kate,
Thank you so much!! I’m flattered and honored. I’ll be visiting your sit as well!!
The photo is fine, but if you could fix my name.. it’s GeraRd, not Gerald😉
God Bless
Beautiful!
Although I would hate to return to a culture that ostracizes any woman who has indulged in premarital sex, or worse, take up the time of police arresting people and putting them in prison for it, although I respect many devoted couples who are not legally married…
… all the more reason I am glad you are teaching this, because it is true, and while we may fall short of the glory of God, including sexually, we should always have this standard to draw us to something higher. Your family life gives good cause to believe Beth will fully live up to your hopes and prayers for her, and that is good too.
Contraception is no excuse for indulging, just as fear of pregnancy is the least of reasons for being chaste.
Gerard: Beautifully stated. Would that our world just take a “time out” and reverence that things that are holy!
simply beautiful!
Ever read “Parents unfold to their children….. The Joyful Mysteries of Life” by Catherine & Bernard Scherrer?
I fixed your name, sorry about that!
THANK YOU so much!
I am a 20-year-old college junior with a heart for truth, love and beauty and hopes of a marriage that will reflect that🙂 It is SO encouraging to hear that my high standards should be THE standard–the standard that God has set for us🙂
Thank you a million times, and God bless!
~Heather
Also, check out a song I wrote about this:
It’s called “So Beautiful”
http://www.myspace.com/heatherbartlettmusic
🙂
Kate,
Thank You. I LOVE your site. I’m adding it to my blogroll.
I love this. A high calling for Daddies but God honoring conversations that need to be had!
Beautiful!!
Indeed, excellent book
[…] It starts by focussing on the true meaning of purity. I’ve treated this in other posts, notably Purity and Play and in, Of Bridal Veils and Little Girls. […]
Dear Gerard,
I wept reading this post. It is beautiful beyond words. Imagine children across the world hearing this explanation of love and sex. Imagine the happy consquences for us all. I’m so glad I ‘happened’ across this blog tonight. Thank you so very much for sharing yourself and your family.
Paula
This is my first visit here, but I will be back soon, because I really like the way you are writing, it is so simple and honest
Dr. Nadal, all I can say is, “Wow.” Your summation tying Holiness and the body is so elegant, I doubt any theologian could top it. As a father, I intend to share it with my ten year old daughter when we go to weddings this year. Like you, I am also ever mindful as a husband that my sons are always watching the way I treat their mother and as such I am their role model as future husbands. Thank you for writing this and sharing something so personal, yet so relevant.