A nearly universal prayer prayed at Catholic Masses during the Prayer of The Faithful is for an increase in vocations to the Priesthood and Religious Life. We need them, God knows. But where do they come from? Where do we find men and women who are willing to sacrifice family, career, money-all for a life of chaste and celibate love and service to the People of God?
They mostly come from faithful families, where such faith is nourished, where sacrifice is witnessed in the lives of parents, and where the life-giving nature of a sacramental vocation has been a constant example. Sad to say that many of our marriages are wrecked upon the shoals of a secular society, drawn in by the beacon of radicalized autonomy to their doom.
Yet we never hear the prayer, “For an increase in the number of our married couples willing to live their marriages as a sacrament.” The Church rises and falls on the foundation of our marriages. Sacramental marriage carries with it a great many responsibilities and obligations that a secular expression of marriage does not.
At its heart, sacramental marriage has Jesus at its center. The very union of husband and wife was seized upon by Saint Paul as the metaphor to describe Jesus’ relationship to the Church: The bridegroom and the Bride. Why?
It has something to do with the passionate love between the two. Married people learn quickly enough the need to forgive one another-daily. In their passionate lover’s embrace, they learn, not narcissistic indulgence, but radical self-donation, which in turn produces new life. That new life is transformative for the couple. Focussing their love outward on that new life, it is reflected back in on the couple, which is nourishing and regenerative. Paul seized the perfect metaphor.
Yet so many of our marriages are in deplorable condition because they lack this paradigmatic operation.
The enemies of the Culture of Life have used laser-guided bombs to destroy our Churches. Men in general, fathers in particular, are portrayed in advertisements and sitcoms-with rare exception- as buffoons.
Young women are celebrated as heroines if they’re sluts, and defective if they are not.
Women have been set against the children of their wombs, with over fifty million abortions in thirty-seven years.
Sex between husband and wife has been stripped of the potential for the transmission of life through artificial contraception. The message is clear-children are a burden.
We need a renewal of family life in the Church, an unapologetic challenge to the radicalized autonomy of our homes where every room has a TV and a computer, where family unity is as alien as the Martian soil. The Church needs to start by reminding the faithful that vocation doesn’t only mean Priesthood and Religious Life. Marriage was the first vocation, the first sacrament given by God.
If we want an increase in Vocations to Priesthood and Religious Life, we’ve got to stop putting the cart before the horse and start praying in earnest for our dying families.
Coming Home 
“Sex between husband and wife has been stripped of the potential for the transmission of life through artificial contraception. The message is clear-children are a burden.”
agreed but many women see AC as their liberator!
How very tragic. š¦
Honestly, after seeing the title and reading the first paragraph, at first I thought you were praying for the church to allow priests to marry in order to solve the problem of not enough priests!
Sorry for the curveball.
Beautiful post, Gerard.
Have you heard of the “the traveling cross”? In order to encourage prayer for vocations, a parish will send the cross home with a family for a week. The cross is put in a prominent spot in their house where the family will pray. At the end of the week the cross is returned to the parish and passed on to another family, usually in Church either before or after one of the Masses.
We used to a do a prayer for vocations at the end of Mass every week. While asking for more priests, deacons, sisters, and brothers, it also asked that we all might strive to follow our vocation to the best of our ability.
Part of the problem with so many modern marriages is the “love” syndrome on which they are based. I think this is the most dangerous because it says that the most important basis for marriage is “love” (as in warm fuzzy feelings) and no one better dare to separate a couple “in love” for any reason no matter how old they are. As a result, many marriages are doomed from the beginning by incompatibility issues.
Now I’m not saying that we should go back to arranged marriages, but people need to realize that warm fuzzy feelings are not enough to base a marriage on….and that physical affection causes biochemical reactions that invoke feelings of trust that may not be deserved. And many parents need to realize that they have an obligation to make sure that a potential spouse is worthy of their child and not be afraid to bring up legitimate concerns.
And priests need to step up to. A lot of the marriage preparation programs are just hoops to be jumped through with no real substance. Many do not require NFP courses, and the priests don’t ask specific questions or make any judgments beyond whether the marriage would be allowed by the Church. And they don’t address the special rules and challenges of a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic.
I wonder how often a priest ever steps in and says, “I really don’t think this relationship can be a sacramental marriage at this time, if ever”, refuses to do the ceremony, and cautions the people that if they insist on getting married outside the Church they may not receive the sacraments.
I didn’t know this, but it sounds like a great idea.
A few months ago, leaving a Reformation Sunday service at a Lutheran Church (a vigorously pro-life church by the way), I made a comment which inspired the pastor to say “Yes, and I want to marry.” His son is, in fact, following him in the ministry. The Roman Church could do worse than let priests reproduce themselves. There is no Old Testament foundation for celibacy — in fact, the real tragedy for Jeptha was not that he was going to commit the abomination of offering his daughter on the altar, that is a Greek mistranslation, but that dedicating her to a life of celibate service to fulfill his vow meant he would never have grandchildren.
Everything said here about marriage is true, and worth hearing, but my mother never had an unplanned child in her entire marriage, and my sister hasn’t either. Both have had children, within a marriage bond, and both remain married to their first husband. I have no problem at all with family planning, including contraception.
You know Barbaras suggestion that the Church should take a tougher stance on contraception and whom the Church will marry could very well solve the problem of not enough priests. Though not in the way you intended.
ANIYAN+ HELEN MARRIAGE FOR PLZ PRAYER (ONLY CHURCH PROBLEM )
Myself Aniyan K George belonging to CSI church āchengannur (Kerala) Age 35, staying & working in Mumbai was supposed to get engaged to Helen age 33 church from syro Malabar Catholics church, Kannour ,Helenās parents wants me to join their church (for marriage, first I refused, but then I agreed, but now her parents are refusing for our marriage.
Please pray for both of us, even Helen wants to get married to me only. This confusion is only for church problen.
Please pray for myself & Helen that no restriction come between us for our marriage. Helen & myself are both in love and want to live together forever.
I Aniyan K george If got married to Helen whom I love more than anyone. I get married to Helen everything was fixed but to church problem everything went wrong from Helenāns family and side and one and half month not talking Helen and Helen family
Please pray & solve our problem.
ANIYAN K GEORGE