The Blessing and Dignity of Down Syndrome

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The Blessing and Dignity of Down Syndrome

January 31, 2011 by Gerard M. Nadal

From my friend, Tina Mahar, who daily teaches me the power of humility through her blog and FB page:

“In the fictional novel, The Clowns of God, by Morris West, Jesus comes back to earth, and some people think it’s Him while some don’t. At one point, Jesus is at a school for children with Down syndrome, and He is holding a little girl. Jesus says:

‘I know what you are thinking. You need a sign. What better one could I give but to make this little one whole and new? I could do it, but I will not. I am the Lord and not a conjurer. I gave this mite a gift I denied to all of you — eternal innocence. To you she looks imperfect — but to me she is flawless, like the bud that dies unopened or the fledgling that falls from the nest to be devoured by ants. She will never offend me, as all of you have done. She will never pervert or destroy the work of my Father’s hands. She is necessary to you. She will evoke the kindness that will keep you human. Her infirmity will prompt you to gratitude for your own good fortune … More! She will remind you every day that I am who I am, that my ways are not yours, and that the smallest dust mite whirled in the darkest spaces does not fall out of my hand … I have chosen you.

You have not chosen me.

This little one is my sign to you.

Treasure her!’ “

— Kurt Kondrich (father of a beautiful daughter who has Down syndrome)

Posted in Dignity | Tagged Dignity, Down Syndrome, Jesus | 15 Comments

15 Responses

on January 31, 2011 at 7:06 PM Julia

Wow! Thanks Kurt, and Gerard. We still treasure ever single life and know God has breathed into each soul His Spirit.

Our family is blessed to have a severely highly mentally challenged son. (Brain damage due to no amniotic fluid in the
womb and underdeveloped hard preemie lungs, oxygen deprived for 20 plus minutes.) Who are we to say the value of
this sweet boy’s life? He is just as a delight as our other 9 children and we have learned true trust and reliance on a
Sovereign God.

~Julia
on January 31, 2011 at 8:11 PM L.

I had an argument with my husband every time I was pregnant, because I had pre-natal testing in all my pregnancies, and would have terminated for any condition incompatible with life — which, of course, Down syndrome is certainly NOT. I know many wonderful people with Down’s and sure, they and their families have their share of troubles, but they’re all leading full, happy lives — even the ones with the most severe problems.
on January 31, 2011 at 8:51 PM Brittany

What a beautiful post that brought tears to my eyes. As a mother of a precious 7month old son who has Down Syndrome I agree with ever word. These children change the world every minute of everyday. My son has already changed our family, friends & community. I can only thank God for trusting me to care for his angel.
on January 31, 2011 at 9:01 PM Carla

L,

You let some of your children live then?

Your comment actually chilled me to the bone.

Your love for those with Down Syndrome in contrast to your “terminating” without a thought.
on January 31, 2011 at 9:21 PM L.

Carla, yes, I let a few of them live. But the vast majority, I prevented from existing in the first place — the optimal choice, for someone like me.

And why ever do pro-life people assume that “pro-aborts” are “‘terminating’ without a thought?” I’ve never known anyone who had an abortion under ANY circumstances who did it “without a thought” – unless you count people who took emergency contraception after a sexual assault.
on January 31, 2011 at 9:24 PM L.

Carla, I also recognize that people can give careful thought to something, and still make a choice that they deeply regret later.

Again: Preventing unwanted pregnancy in the first place is key. No one wants to have an abortion. Not even a “pro-abort.”
on February 1, 2011 at 3:19 AM Anna

You must have wanted to have an abortion more than you did not want to have it; otherwise, you would not have had it, right?

Somehow it makes one seem more noble, more of a good person, when you have an abortion even though you didn’t want to have it. It’s a game with language.

“No one wants to have an abortion” is a lie; a lie to make a woman feel better about what she’s done; a lie to convince others that it’s ok to do.
on February 1, 2011 at 3:22 AM L.

Anna, what makes you think I had an abortion? And maybe I should phrase it this way: No one wants to be facing the decision of whether to have an abortion or not.
on February 1, 2011 at 4:16 PM Richie B

Personally I believe that the review process which leads to the decision to abort on medical grounds is incompatible with the idea that Downs Syndrome is a blessing. Why not spinabifida or severe physical handicap or a defect which will most likely kill the baby within hours of birth? The key to me seems to be the opportunity to lavish unconditional love on someone who cannot return it, especially if we have to go to God to get our love tank filled up. That is selfless service of another – which changes us to be more like Jesus. And this is the blessing
on February 1, 2011 at 4:25 PM Richie B

Humanity has shone the brightest throughout history when it has acted selflessly in the defense of the defenseless, in provision of food for the hungry, clothing for the naked, and help for the sick. It is the spending of a life sowing into the lives of others that expands who we are – because we inevitably run out of resources, and we have to go somewhere to get them. And many discover God through this – who is able to selflessly give us what we need to continue on a daily basis.
on February 1, 2011 at 11:00 PM Mary Catherine

I’m in agreement with you Carla. You are spitting in the wind I’m afraid.

What a beautiful beautiful statement by Kurt Kondrich! How lucky is his daughter.
on February 2, 2011 at 1:57 AM RandomThoughts

Mary Catherine and Carla, after a few posts you realize it’s a Proverbs 26:4 situation (or maybe a Proverbs 26:11 one, given the repetitive attention-getting comments) and you just move on.

Richie B, I agree with you 100%. You stated the key to dealing with every crisis life throws at us:

“…we inevitably run out of resources, and we have to go somewhere to get them. And many discover God through this – who is able to selflessly give us what we need to continue on a daily basis.”
on February 2, 2011 at 2:16 AM L.

Isn’t it funny, how repetitive comments seem perfectly fine when you happen to agree with them, and they’re just “attention-getting” when you don’t?
on February 2, 2011 at 10:18 AM Mary Catherine

L, your comments are not funny. They are disturbing.

RT yes I quite agree. And Richie – great comment esp.
“It is the spending of a life sowing into the lives of others that expands who we are..”

Once again the idea, God first, others second and me THIRD.
on February 11, 2011 at 1:45 PM meghann

If a child is ‘incompatible with life’ why not carry to term, regard this child as a person and since they are not compatible, they will die anyway.. more likely without pain anyway. Strange. I do not know ONE woman who carried a child who was actually incapable of living outside the womb to term and regretted doing so. She had the opportunity to hold this child, name this child and grieve for this child. It is a part of the human condition to grieve the loss of someone they love. To disallow the opportunity to be born is simply monstrous. No other way about it.