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The corruption of innocence is a deadly sin, because it corrupts the innocents. Better a millstone be tied around the necks of those who corrupt the innocent and they be flung into the sea, said Jesus. He really never pointed out too many particular sins attaching to them a ‘woe betide’. About the only other one was at the Last Supper when He said it would be better had Judas never been born than to betray Him.
So the corruption of the innocent ranks pretty high on the list of deadly sins.
This all comes to mind after attending my children’s dance recital this weekend. Their school has begun to drift from its wholesome moorings, as evidenced by 5-6 year olds in hula skirts turning their backs to the audience, placing one hand on a hip, and shaking their bottoms for a good 15 seconds to the hoots, hollers, whistles and cheers of the audience. It was the loudest and most raucus applause of the show. My three who collectively dance Irish step, tap, modern, and ballet were repulsed.
I was nauseated. Why the cheers for that, and why so demonstrative? It is not disconnected from the societal implosion in the Western World. Little girls don’t aspire to be “hot,” or sexually sophisticated. Left to their own natural development they like pink things and dolls, girly and feminine stuff. They want to be admired and courted, not lusted after and groped. (Left leaning types need not argue with me here. I’ve endured the stupidity for decades and am at the end of my patience with it.)
Yes, girls are different. They are softer when that ground is cultivated and fertilized. There are plenty of orthodox Catholic colleges, as well as Protestant and Mormon schools filled with such women as living testimony and stunning rebukes to the culture that sexualizes young girls.
What I witnessed on Sunday was tame compared to several of my older nieces’ recitals where girls dressed and danced like pole dancers. But the question remains…
Why?
Why do schools teach this, and why do parents pay for, approve, and cheer for it? Why have so many eschewed the femininity and physical strength of ballet for hip hop and jazz with x-rated moves danced to equally disgusting lyrics?
It has something to do with a sexual revolution that is 50 years old, guilty parents, a divorce rate over 50%, and 55 million abortions with 1 in 4 American women having had an abortion by middle age. Add to that empty churches on Sundays and we have the recipe for the cancer that is consuming the greatest, most enlightened civilization the world has ever known.
In short, the innocence of the innocents stands as a howling rebuke of their parents’ past and present sinful lifestyles. Adults, cut off from God, lost and without hope of personal redemption find it easier at some level to inculcate their licentiousness in the children than to clean up their own acts. And what a show it is.
CDC reports that 25% of American girls will contract at least one STD before the age of 19. It goes up from there. For African American girls the percentage is a stunning 48%. Girls are pressured into appearing “hot” for the boys and must endure this added burden during the normal confusion and growing pains of adolescence. The dance schools begin the commodification as early as age three.
And we wonder why for the first time a majority of women prefer cohabitation to marriage. Perhaps because we have trained our sons to value girls as sex objects and not persons with a great intrinsic dignity.
Perhaps because the boys see the parents buying the micro-shorts, mini skirts and revealing tops for the girls.
Perhaps because the boys see the parents getting breast enhancements for the girls as teens.
Perhaps because of all of this the boys no longer fear the girl’s father as they once did.
Perhaps the girls see this betrayal as normative and we have succeeded in defining their dignity down.
By the end of college, many girls have been had by boys well into the double-digits. They have been used, diseased, impregnated, and abandoned. Repeatedly. By their early twenties.
Corrupted in their own fertility and youthful promise.
Spent.
On Sunday I got a good insight into where, and how early it all begins.
We have become a wicked, wicked people.
[…] There are plenty of orthodox Catholic colleges, as well as Protestant and Mormon schools filled with such women as living testimony and stunning rebukes to the culture that sexualizes young girls. What I witnessed on Sunday was tame … View full post on protestant – Google Blog Search […]
The so-called “sexual revolution” of the 60s did not cause high divorce rate or abortions. What you’re saying is nonsense . POVERTY in America has caused abortion for the most part . If the US government would provide more help to poor pregnant women , the abortion rate would PLUMMET !
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I just heard on the radio that the boomers haven’t learned their lessons – they still like their sex, drugs and rock n roll. The number of STDs has sky rocketed for people in their 50s and 60s! And they didn’t start until they were teens. Can’t imagine what this youngest generation will be like when they are in their 50s and 60s when they are being sexualized when they are practically still babies. Jesus, we trust in You.
To Mr. Berger: Dude. You need to read up. Abortions are targeted at poor women and poor men and poor women and men of color. And now ***all*** young women are at risk for abortion and out of wedlock pregnancies and having children of multiple fathers and fathers who have no clue how to be a dad. While you babble. I try to help poor pregnant women but now the government and my health insurance and people like you force ***me*** to pay for their abortions instead.. What do you do? Exactly what???
Gerry, isn’t this the same dance school run by the late Mrs. “R” of whom you thought so highly? I remember the two lovely posts you wrote about her and her school. I guess the loss of her influence is showing. So sad.
Poverty has absolutely nothing to do with immorality I grew up in the depression and contrary to what many people believe my father worked 16 hour days and we were able to help give “hobos” sandwiches when they came to our small home. I was a child then and I helped my grandmother do this. We still had extended families living together. What fond memories that are very hard to find now. No Mr. Berger, poverty has nothing to do with our world today. The chief problem
Is the Catholic Church. How the Church prays is how the society will be. Take a look at the nonsense in the “new mass”. Go figure!
Bravo, Gerry. Excellent post.
Yank,
Yes it is. Since her death there has been some drift in the wrong direction. Most of the programming is still really good, but this was appalling.
Thanks very much for your honesty and courage in writing this post.
Thanks, Lisa.
Thanks, Donna.
You reference this but it bears repeating…little BOYS are watching all of this with first confused and curious eyes, then lustful ones. Fathers, please demand more from those young men who “admire and court” your daughters–they will love you more for it and will follow your example. And if you are reluctant because you are afraid of being labeled a hypocrite, remember, you are NOT a hypocrite, but a sinner. Protect your children.
Thanks for reminding us that how we raise our daughters is being watched by our sons.
Humanae Vita is a very interesting papal document (ca. 1968). More people (especially Catholics) should read it. It was very prescient in its time as far as predicting worse abuses of human sexual expression when artificial contraception became an accepted norm.
Beveryly, more Catholics ought to read the General Instruction on the Roman Missal and they would immediately see if “father” is praying the Liturgy of the Church or “doing his own thing”. The problem is not the “new Mass”. The problem with people who think they know better.
Thank you.
Thank you for this post. I had always thought that I wanted my daughter (now 13 months) to be a cheerleader, but it’s just not a wholesome activity anymore.
Ballet will be wonderful, though. It really is feminine, it requires discipline and strength.
The sexual revolution has hurt women so much. Thank you for being one of the few men who is willing to acknowledge this, Dr. Nadal.
I have three gorgeous daughters…seems like they were little ballerina angels last week…two are now getting married within the next seven months! Both are still pure…an incredible gift. The boys (in high school) were always afraid of me…and then they were beyond petrified when I spoke about sex (as in, hands off) and dating my daughter(s). What I discovered is that no one had ever talked to them that way before. They knew the Wrath of Khan (that’d be me) would come down on their unsuspecting heads if they strayed. Today, the men betrothed to my daughters thank me. Man up men, be a Father! It’s your duty.
I am married 18 years a man whose family has often left me wondering about the appropriateness of this very behavior. While we were still dating, I recall some spanish programming that my father-in-law recorded on his VCR which showed some dancer wearing a bikini top with tassels strategically sewn into the bikini top. She then proceeded to dance around on stage twirling these tassels around 360 degrees to the music for the entire length of the song. My father-in-law thought this so humorous that he proceeded to replay this tape to his two sons while his wife cooked dinner for the family. I was nauseated by this behavior, and my own mother-in-law thought nothing of it. Fast forward a few years. My husband and I were now married. My brother-in-law was having a conversation with his two boys who were young adolescents at the time about which cousin they thought was cuter. Is this an appropriate conversation for a father to be having with his sons? Fast forward a few more years and my mother-in-law purchased a birthday present for my one-year old daughter comprised of a bikini with a grass skirt attached. Out came the video camera as everyone giggled as she toddled about wearing her grass skirt. I was humiliated.
Wait…..”5-6 year olds in hula skirts turning their backs to the audience, placing one hand on a hip, and shaking their bottoms for a good 15 seconds?”
That sounds kind of adorable to me.
🙂
Well, I was almost disappointed. I had developed a theory of human behavior, based on the writings of various scholars, including (among others) Darwin, Freud, Dr. Benjamin Spock, and Lizzie Borden. Specifically, I had predicted a particular type of comment, from a particular author; and this seemed like the post for such a comment. Was the author going to comply with my theory? Hmmm….. So after reading Dr. Nadal’s thought-provoking post, I scrolled down the comments looking for the one that I predicted MUST be there. I scrolled down, and I was surprised not to find it. The comment I had predicted was one of utter insignificance, other than to announce the lonely author’s presence on this planet, and to express inherent boredom and anger with words meant (albeit slyly) to antagonize, to annoy, to provoke. It seemed my entire theory of human behavior was out the window, but then I saw it. Yes, at 6:01 this evening Lisa Twaronite provided a seemingly innocent mindless few words that barely disguise her underlying motives. Hence, my theory of human behavior survives one more day without falsification.
Fascinating, pt-109.
I am neither “lonely” nor “angry,” and I think you probably misunderstand my motives, too. But since you didn’t elaborate, I will never know.
(It’s easy to say just about anything on the Internet when you hide behind a pseudonym — or an initial — which is why I now use my full name everywhere.)
Lisa, it’s most definately NOT “adorable,” especially not in public, in front of who-knows-who, and with that sort of wolf whistle reaction. It’s more akin to a Hooters environment (minus the chicken wings) with and for 5-year-old girls. Is THAT what we want to communicte to our kids? To little boys and girls? Is that the foundation of purity and chastity?
Chuck, I am not trying to raise my boys/girl to be pure or chaste. I have nothing against dances that involve shaking bottoms or pelvises or any other body parts. That said, when I started reading this post, I guessed it was going to complain about immodest attire (and yeah, even a libertine like me sometimes wonders what other parents are thinking). So I was surprised when the issue was the dance itself.
I have friends who do hula, some of them together with their young daughters. Shaking one’s bottom is part of the dance — it’s part of why early missionaries in Hawaii banned it.
I was not there that night to see the performance — perhaps the reaction of the crowd was overly raucous, and sent the wrong message? That doesn’t seem to be the main point, though — instead, the issue seems to be with children performing a dance that some people might interpret as sexualized.
But unless the girls were in little G-strings, I think hula dancers sound adorable. It’s just like little girls blowing kisses — some people will interpret that as precociously physical & lustful & inappropriate, but others will just think it’s cute.
Full disclosure: My daughter wasn’t interested in dance, so this was never an issue for our family. She did karate instead. So I don’t happen to believe, as is stated in the original post, that “girls are different. They are softer when that ground is cultivated and fertilized.” I’m raising my own daughter to be tough as nails, and I want her brothers to treat her, and all other females, the way they treat other boys/men: with respect and consideration, but not necessarily softness. So far, so good.
The thing that is cute about a child’s interpretation of an adult activity is her innocence. So, a little girl doing a hula dance is cute. The problem is the hooting and carrying on of adults who should know better. When a child hears that it could either scare her (the noisy reaction to something she is doing that is great fun) or alert her to the way to get more attention. The adults are in control here and need to realize what is happening. Girls come in many types. Some come into their own in marshal arts. Some do not. But which ever type we are blessed to have, we do not want them to be objectified.
“I am not trying to raise my children to be pure or chaste.”
Really, with that sort of dysfunctional parenting paradigm in place, further discussion on this topic is a waste of time.
Lisa, really, why are you on this blog? To create controversy?
It’s not cute to encourage your daughters to grow up to get banged by every Tom, Dick and Harry. At least this is what most of us who follow Dr. Nadal’s blog believe. Perhaps this is not the blog for you. But that is your decision…and Dr. Nadal’s decision, too.
My daughter is very beautiful (her father was a very successful model during the 80’s and 90’s) and many people have suggested that I put her in beauty contests. It’s not cute to see little girls blowing kisses and dressing like deranged 30-year olds.
When I was at university, there were demonstrations for us young women on how to put condoms on bananas. What we really needed was to see other women making good decisions and avoiding exploitative relationships. There were few good role models to be found.
Lisa Twaronite, when I saw the thought-provoking post, and also the phrase “(Left leaning types need not argue with me here. I’ve endured the stupidity for decades and am at the end of my patience with it.)” I knew you would try to suggest with faux innocence that this issue was all just too cute. You did. I knew that you would, and I know why you did. I agree with you that people can say anything on the internet (you should know), they can even say the following: “I am neither ‘lonely’ nor ‘angry.'” In fact, you are both. I hope all of your inane comments help you in some way.
Lisa, I don’t know why this ended up in the spam folder, but here it is… GN
Chuck, I’m not perfect, but my “parenting paradigm” is far from “dysfunctional.” Jennifer, I don’t recall saying that I am raising my daughter to “get banged by every Tom, Dick and Harry,” and not sure how you could possibly read that into my comment. In fact, I hope her years of karate will help her fight off any unwanted advances.
Why am I here? I am actually here out of nostalgia — I was a regular reader & commenter for long time (until Dr. Nadal and I argued about some things I said here — coincidentally, they were things I said about my daughter). I still come here from time to time because I’m curious to read points of view that are very different from my own, and I decided to start commenting again — under my real name this time. I decided if I had something to say, I should never be ashamed to fully own up to it, and I’m not. Why would I need to “create controversy?” It naturally exists, when people don’t share opinions, and it’s often the first step to communication.
And pt-109, your insistence that I am “lonely” and “angry” is bizarre and incorrect (and perhaps says more about the person saying it?). And no one has ever accused me of “faux innocence” before! However, I do admit to the “inherent boredom” you also tried to pin on me in your first comment. Contributing to the discussion here gives me one more interesting thing to do, as I have my morning coffee, and then again when I’m relaxing at home in the evening — and as such, yes, I guess it does “help” me in some way. Blog comments offer an exercise in expressing my opinion, in which I can gauge how effectively (or ineffectively) I am doing it. Judging by the reactions here, I have a long way to go.
Comment disappeared — was I banned?
How odd. Okay, trying again — sorry, it will have to be an abbreviated version, because I have to leave for work.
I’m neither “lonely” nor “angry” (and accusations of such perhaps say less about me than about the person saying them). I am simply curious, and perhaps a bit bored. I am not a “dysfunctional parent.” I’m actually Catholic (Franciscan Chapel Center, Tokyo — although I rarely go to mass anymore since my littlest guy decided he’s an atheist — no point in confirming that one!). I don’t accept many of the Church’s views on sexuality and I am raising my children to reject traditional gender roles.
Anyway, I am not coming to this blog to “create controversy” — controversy naturally exists when people don’t share opinions. I am coming out of curiosity to read what very traditional Catholics think.
I used to comment her under an initial, but I know use my full name, because I’m not ashamed to own up to what I say — unlike some of the folks who love tossing stones anonymously.
Yes, my “inane comments” do help me — they’re an exercise in expressing my opinions, and let me gauge how effectively (or ineffectively) I’m doing it. I can see I have a long way to go.
Lisa, your original post ended up in the spam folder {God giving you a message?? 🙂 } It appears below. GN
(sigh) Yeah, I think God is telling me, “Stop wasting time commenting on blogs, and go sign up to volunteer making rice balls for the homeless or something.”
A year ago, my daughter attended a ballet/tap class at a local dance studio. She came out of the class and said, “Mom, I can’t do that class.” When I asked why, she replied, “They want me to shake my hips.” Now, I have never said anything to her about shaking her hips, etc., so her hesitance/refusal to continue with the class came from within, not some kind of moral “rule” I had given her. We have since discovered Irish Dance and she absolutely loves it. 🙂