There is no greater stumbling block in developing the spiritual life than the issue of “unanswered” prayer. When we pray from the depths of our hearts for what we honestly perceive as the good and God seems absent, it can send many into despair. St. Augustine tackles this in today’s Office of Readings in the Liturgy of the Hours:
St Augustine’s letter to Proba
We do not know how to pray as we ought
Perhaps you may still ask why St Paul said when we cannot choose words in order to pray properly, since it is impossible that he or those to whom he wrote should not have known the Lord’s Prayer.
Yet Paul himself was not exempt from such ignorance. When, to prevent him from becoming swollen-headed over the greatness of the revelations that had been given to him, he was given in addition a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet him, he asked the Lord three times to take it away from him. Surely that was not knowing to pray as he ought? For in the end he heard the Lord’s reply, telling him why even such a great saint’s prayer had to be refused: “My grace is enough for you: my power is at its best in weakness.”
So when we are suffering afflictions that might be doing us either good or harm, we do not to know how to pray as we ought. But because they are hard to endure and painful, because they are contrary to our nature (which is weak) we, like all mankind, pray to have our afflictions taken from us. At least, though, we owe this much respect to the Lord our God, that if he does not take our afflictions away we should not consider ourselves ignored and neglected, but should hope to gain some greater good through the patient acceptance of suffering. “For my power is at its best in weakness.”
Scripture says this so that we should not be proud of ourselves if our prayer is heard, when we ask for something it would be better for us not to get; and so that we should not become utterly dejected if we are not given what we ask for, despairing of God’s mercy towards us: it might be that what we have been asking for could have brought us some still greater affliction, or it could have brought us the kind of good fortune that brings corruption and ruin. In such cases, it is clear that we cannot know how to pray as we ought.
Hence if anything happens contrary to our prayer, we ought to bear the disappointment patiently, give thanks to God, and be sure that it was better for God’s will to be done than our own. The Mediator himself has given us an example of this. When he had prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass me by,” he transformed the human will that was in him because he had assumed human nature and added “Nevertheless, let it be as you, not I, would have it.” Thus, truly, By the obedience of one man many have been made righteous.
In a culture so saturated in addictions of every kind, the recovery of many will probably involve some “thorn in the flesh” for the rest of one’s life. The allure of the addictive behavior in moments of weakness may always be there, and when it manifests, it becomes an opportunity for God to manifest His strength and glory in our weakness. Augustine really says it all, and this passage is worth marinating in.
I heard once that God answers prayers in one of three ways: 1- yes, 2 – no, 3 – you have to be kidding me!😉 the third one meaning “Let’s wait and see if that is what you truly need.” From my limited experience, a seemingly unanswered prayer has been answered and is an occasion of God’s grace. Then there is the parable of the widow and the unjust judge – when it comes to prayer perseverance is necessary to receive the final answer.
G-d has said no to me so many times it is not even funny. Sometimes it put me in the depths of despair because of the challenges it brought to my faith. When I realized the ultimate purpose and his plan, all I can say is, G-d is good, his is faithful to those who trust in him and we are nothing more than ants under the hill that cannot be expected to explain the workings of the colony. Even if we never understand our suffering or G-d’s “no”, if we have faith that it is always for his glory and the greater good, we shall be with him in heaven and be told, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” What more can one ask than to hear those words emanate from the divine creator of the universe?
Frankly, more often than not, I need to hear the big no just to keep my darn ego in check. Thank goodness he is there to do that.
Thank you for posting this. God has said no to me, and it has always been for the best. I’m humbly grateful to be able to accept God’s will for me, at least most of the time. Prayer helps.🙂