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Dr. Gerard M. Nadal: Science in Service of the Pro-Life Movement

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« Divine Mercy Novena for Dr. Joseph Booker (Day 1)
Divine Mercy Novena for Dr. Joseph Booker (Day 2) »

Healing Hearts: An Open Letter to the Pro-Life Movement

December 4, 2013 by Gerard M. Nadal

forgiveness1

To some of the finest people I’ve been privileged to know:

For decades I heard the call in prayer to stand up against the monstrous evil that has been unfolding in this nation since Roe v. Wade, which was handed down when I was twelve years old. For years I blinded myself to the horror welling up all about me. In part, the taunts of people outside of abortion clinics served to confuse my discernment. How could God be in such harsh and terrible language hurled at women about to do the unthinkable? For decades I simply could not wrap my mind around some of what I had heard in my youth.

So I sat it out on the sidelines and busied myself with becoming a scientist, husband, and father. I simply refused to consider the movement and tuned out anyone who approached me. All of that changed at Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio when I attended a summer conference and met a woman who was there with her infant son, encapsulated in their own bubble of love and devotion. People looked on and smiled at this pure beauty.

I was on the way into a talk by Dr. Scott Hahn when I stopped and told this woman how many of us were taken by the extraordinary depth of love we all were witnessing. I’m not sure how it all started, but the upshot is that she told me her witness story, how she had an abortion two decades ago that left her unable to have children, of the pain, the broken marriage that followed, the repentance, remarriage to a prince and this recent adoption, and of this ministry called Silent No More, of which she was her state’s coordinator. I was so fascinated, riveted, that I decided I could always get the CD of Dr. Hahn (Sorry, Scott). In one of those rare moments of spiritual clarity, I felt like the disciples on the road to Emmaus: “Were not our hearts burning within us as He walked with us on the road?”

I came away from my encounter with Nicole finally understanding that God was present in the movement in a way that is consistent with all I’ve ever known and experienced of Him. He was there in LOVE.

I took this woman’s phone number and in the ensuing years our families have become dear friends. I am Godfather to her second adopted son, and she has mentored me regarding post-abortive trauma. When I began the blog four years ago, she, Jill Stanek, and my wife were among a small circle of powerful women who encouraged and supported me every step of the way.

So what have I learned?

I can’t possibly put it all here. It’s all in the 800+ posts on the blog. However, there is one worth mentioning here. My friend has introduced me to other post-abortive women, and they to others… Women in the hundreds, and they all share one common trait.

They have a radiant beauty and joy about them that is unique. It is the unmistakeable beauty and radiance of a woman who has sinned against the core of her womanhood and who has been restored by Jesus to the fullness of her feminine beauty.

Every. Single. One.

They love much because their Lord has not only forgiven them, but revealed to them the fullness of their dignity, their great worth, and just how much He loves them.

Along the way, I’ve been stunned to see the depth of anguish they feel FOR abortionists. I’ve marveled at their prayers for the men and women who preyed on them in their fear and confusion, robbing them for profit of all that matters most in the world. They see beyond their own pain and loss, the hurt and agony inflicted on them, as well as their own roles. There is a relentless love in these women, a love that is infectious.

Some, it seems, are not so susceptible to the infectiousness.

Last week the notorious abortionist, Dr. Joseph Booker had a stroke in his shower and drowned. What a horrid death, symbolic on many levels. The outpouring of visceral hatred for this man on my blog, on Facebook, and at other pro-life outlets has been shocking. I began a Novena of Divine Mercy on my blog for Dr. Booker, and have been taken to task by several, including a Catholic Priest. Much of the language used by commenters could never be repeated here. However, it has shaken me to my core. For a jaded and cynical New Yorker, that’s quite an admission.

The hatred of what Dr. Booker did is definitely of God. The hatred of Dr. Booker is not.

I pray that Dr. Booker cried out to God for forgiveness and mercy as he lay drowning. Because I earnestly pray that he did so, I have set up the Novena of Divine Mercy for his soul. For some in our movement that is an affront to their sense of justice. How tragic. The vitriol has literally left me wondering how pervasive this sentiment is.

Only 30 people out of 5,000 FB friends joined in the Novena tonight. That says something.

Last month I was privileged to give a day of recollection at a seminary with Msgr. Phillip Reilly (fellow Brooklyn boy) of the Helpers of God’s Precious Infants. The man is a living saint, and reminded all that the main purpose of the pro-life movement is the salvation of souls, especially the mothers and abortionists. Why do some remain impervious to that? Why the hatred? Why wish the eternal horrors of hell on any human being? Do they really know what it is they seek?

There is a spiritual cancer in the body of this movement, one that I thought was pretty much dead, a death evidenced too by the love of the folks involved in 40 Days for Life and other sidewalk counselors. We need to eradicate this by identifying those with such bitter and angry hearts, and then minister to them until they heal. Whatever their anger is about, I suspect that it has roots elsewhere and that abortion is a proxy war for what is really going on. Whatever the cause it must be addressed.

How hard are such hearts that the radiant love and warmth of my post-abortive friends cannot thaw them? Since we are in Advent, a time of penance, when we are done with the Novena of Divine Mercy for Dr. Booker and his fellow abortionists I am doing one on the blog for all “pro-lifers” whose bitter sanctimony will land them in the same place they wish for Dr. Booker.

To Nicole, Georgette, Theresa, Mary, and all of the beautiful women of Silent No More and the other post-abortion healing ministries, this work thrives in no short measure because of you, your loving witness, and your willingness to build the body of Christ.

To the rest of the movement, we really need to take the time during Advent to pray for healing among our own. We simply cannot be so busy that we lose sight of the salvation of souls. If we are about God’s work, we had better be more than mere activists. 30 people out of 5,000 pro-life friends praying for an abortionist most in need of our prayers is as shocking and deplorable as the denunciations for doing so, especially contrasted with 10,000 hits in that same time on an article calling the bishops to task.

Our work loses a great deal if we lose sight of what Msgr. Reilly rightly points out as the purpose of it all:

The salvation of souls.

God Bless, and a Good Advent to All.

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Posted in Abortion | 60 Comments

60 Responses

  1. on December 4, 2013 at 1:55 AM Sarah

    As a Baptist I don’t believe in praying for the dead but I do echo your sentiment and it is my hope he cried out to God in his final moments. And those who wish an eternity of hell for any human being “Do they really know what it is they seek?” SO TRUE. Look, I’ve been guilty of it myself. Sometimes for this human being it is hard for me to separate the sin from the sinner. People who hurt children horrify me so much sometimes I want to do to them exactly what they do to children. So thankful we serve a loving, forgiving, longsuffering and JUST God. May I strive to be more like my God.


  2. on December 4, 2013 at 2:59 AM Gilbert

    Thank you, Gerard. May God give you strength to continue to open our eyes and hearts to God’s love for all. You are in my prayers.


  3. on December 4, 2013 at 5:35 AM Lisa Twaronite

    Very different tone from the man who once sneered at me, “Get help L. You’re sick” and told me to “stay away until such time as you can screw up a modicum of parental love that might value your child more than the merchants of death at Planned Parenthood.”
    Bitter & angry heart, just a bit?
    Doctor, heal thyself.


  4. on December 4, 2013 at 6:26 AM Joan in Colorado

    Thank you for this. I saw and joined the novena in my prayers. This world is so sad at times and so many people are so angry. So much to pray for.


  5. on December 4, 2013 at 8:18 AM Julie Culshaw

    A few years ago, I listened to a talk by Msgr Reilly and it changed my whole outlook on pro-life. I had heard people before say, don’t worry about the babies, but that seemed callous. When Msgr Reilly said it, he qualified it by saying ‘the aborted babies are with the Lord, but their parents and the medical staff are in danger of eternal perdition”. It was seeing that comparison that changed my mind on this.

    As the leader of a 40 Days vigil here in Nova Scotia for the past 6 years, I have found all that prayer and witnessing has changed me, if it hasn’t changed anyone else. I see this movement first and foremost as a spiritual battle for souls. Keep up your blogging, Julie


  6. on December 4, 2013 at 8:35 AM Chris Arsenault

    Lisa @ 5:35AM – So all your pro-abortion commentary was completely free from malice?

    Aren’t your comments above pointing out a flaw in Dr. Nadal?

    Don’t you think it strange your focus is on hypocrisy, when he’s highlighting the forgiveness and compassion expressed by so many who suffered at the hands of others? And yet still chose love?

    Isn’t knowing and seeing such differences the first aspect of change?

    Some of the harshest criticism by Christ is directed towards his own followers – see Matthew 6:14-15.

    Isn’t such realizations the point of his post?


  7. on December 4, 2013 at 8:50 AM Lisa Twaronite

    No, not malice — I always speak honestly, but my purpose is not harm. I stand by everything I’ve ever said on this blog, and elsewhere — no apologies, no forgiveness sought (or wanted).
    I am not the one calling for “identifying those with such bitter and angry hearts” — Dr. Nadal is. So I don’t find it strange at all, that I pointed out his own bitterness and anger, and lack of compassion.


  8. on December 4, 2013 at 10:11 AM hermittalker

    Beautiful honest and open story. part of my experience some years back was to withstand the “pro-lifers” who literally made fun of me tying my defence of Life to include opposition to the death penalty in the USA as well as defending the pro-life in the womb crowd from being tarred with the same brush as the screamers at clinics and the arson and murder attacks on them and on staff. That and ;pointing out that we are not GOP who do not care once we are born and showing that we also started clinics and centres to assist Moms and babies as much as we can. That part of my ministry still continues in this land where centre is spelled centre and not where we also opened centers!


  9. on December 4, 2013 at 10:26 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    Lisa,

    That wasn’t a sneer when I said it. And given the context of the discussion back then, when you were talking of what you would hope for and permit for your daughter, I meant every word of it. Anger? Not at all. It remains some of the most depraved talk I’ve ever heard come from a mother’s mouth regarding her own child.

    On anger, there are two types identified by St. Paul the Apostle. One is with sin, the other without. He tells us that if we are to be angry (righteous anger) let it be without sin. Wishing an abortionist or any human into hell is clearly sinful anger. Saying what I said to you (leaving the door open for a future return) was not. The faith is more mature and nuanced than the New York Times gang ever wants to acknowledge. At my worst in righteous anger, I will tell someone to “Get well soon.” That, too, tries to convey the depth of the problem and my wish for the individual’s healing.

    Also, please don’t trivialize this by going down the road of pointing out flaws. That’s childish. I never said we needed to be perfect. God knows I am not. This is about the kind of anger that leads to eternal damnation, not about being free from flaws.

    I still desire that your daughter comes to know the highest regard from all who encounter her, and that her mother protect her from the merchants of death at Planned Parenthood.

    But again, I never, EVER spoke against anger in this piece. Only against the kind that will land people in hell.

    Glad to see you back. 🙂


  10. on December 4, 2013 at 10:57 AM catholicmoxie

    Gerard,
    Perhaps the difficulty in praying and even hoping for mercy for a man such as Booker is this: it feels within us to be unjust toward his victims. It seems to retroactively declare their murders “no big deal” and something easily washed over. It just FEELS wrong to our sense of justice. We cry out for justice for the unborn. We cry out for their deaths to matter, for their LIVES to matter. We cry out for the wrong of abortion to be recognized as evil and as murder. And then a serial killer like Booker dies… and it is almost a relief that one less person is around killing babies.

    I want to want mercy for Booker. I truly do. But I won’t lie and say it comes easily or feels right. I have to admit I’m asking, What about justice?

    But that is for God to decide. And for me to relinquish and trust in His ways.
    May our Almighty God have mercy on the soul of such a wretched man as Dr. Booker.


  11. on December 4, 2013 at 11:08 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    Catholic Moxie,

    I know, and I often feel the same way. However, my sin is no less offensive to God. I regard justice for the unborn to be the complete undoing and economic ruination of the institutions and individuals who kill them. Once brought low they have a chance to be converted. Beyond death, there is purgatory. Beyond purgatory, there are different levels of existence in Heaven.

    Ultimately, think of how the aborted look upon these people as they stand before the throne of God. Do they beg God to send the Dr. Bookers to hell? Of course not. So I stand with the kids. 🙂

    God Bless.


  12. on December 4, 2013 at 12:04 PM catholicmoxie

    Gerard,

    I hear you and I’m with you.
    However, back up a minute… our Church teaches there is venial and mortal sin. Not all sins are equal. Can you honestly say then, that your sin is no less offensive? Do you spend your days killing people? Is it really fair and accurate to make that statement?
    I’m not minimizing the average person’s sin, or my own for that matter. My sin is black and offensive to the heart of God, and I’m sure I justify and excuse my own failings too easily. I beg forgiveness. But is it really the same as taking countless innocent lives for profit, or for whatever reason he did it?
    Can’t we at least acknowledge the gravity and the difference?


  13. on December 4, 2013 at 12:42 PM Steve

    Wonderful ministry, Gerry. Prayer, prayer and more prayer through one’s love for your enemies is the only way to conquer this culture of death in which we all steep. I pray for the soul of Dr. Booker also, because an eternity of hell for anyone is too frightening to contemplate.


  14. on December 4, 2013 at 1:07 PM warachelsvineyard@gmail.com

    Dr. Gerard, you and i have had our go arounds on this blog as well as Jill Staneks’. Some of your words, though I am sure not meant to be offensive, have been to me, a post abortive woman. You write that each and every one of us post abortive mothers have a “radiant beauty and joy which is unique”.

    Please, Dr. Gerard, do not lump us all into the same category – have you not seen the angry pro-lifer …. who is trying to hide the fact that she is post abortive? Have you not seen the furious pro-abortion woman who cannot deal with the pain of her abortion in any which way but to scream out at those who would tell her she was wrong? Are you not the same man that has written that abortion is murder?

    So – here I am, a forgiven woman – a woman who lost her child to an abortion forty three years ago … and yet, I still fight with people like you in the pro-life movement who write that we post abortive woman are all so wonderful … for that is patronizing and just plain wrong. Or that post abortive women because they have committed murder (which it does NOT say in the CCC) are all going to hell.

    I pray that perhaps you have had an awakening, Dr. Gerard – I pray too that you will be able to see each woman who has lost a child as a unique creation, beloved of God and love her through her faults – if she is still angry and spitting at you, or if she is a modicum of joy and inner peace.

    Most of all – I pray that those who have had abortions will know that they are forgiven – and it is not by you, but by Jesus Christ, who loves us each individually and without measure … God Bless you .


  15. on December 4, 2013 at 1:51 PM Gerard M. Nadal

    warachelsvineyard@gmail.com,

    I don’t lump you all in together. If you read the post, I am talking of those who have been healed, who have been fully restored. Your anger shows that you are still a work in progress and that God is still leading you to the place where your healed sisters are. The Holy Spirit works in peace, moves in peace, and has peace as the proof of his indwelling.

    Yes, you are forgiven, but that’s just the beginning of healing and deliverance. Your anger shows that you have a good way to go.

    A heterogenous population among post-abortive women, to be certain. But if you get out of your own way, you’ll see that I was talking about the women fully restored.

    And… I have NEVER said that all post-abortive women are going to hell. In fact, I have often written that the fear and coercive pressures brought to bear on pregnant women powerfully mitigate subjective culpability. But in your anger you puke indiscriminately all over anyone who steps on the 10 million land mines you’ve surrounded yourself with. Being post-abortive does not give you free rein to do so, and you have an obligation to yourself and others to work on that anger. Per usual with you, don’t expect me to walk on eggshells around you. That’s passive/aggressive control and I don’t play that game.

    God Bless.


  16. on December 4, 2013 at 2:37 PM Robin

    Thank you for your post Dr Nadal. If it’s not too late I will join the Novena.
    I too, am a post abortive woman, 35 years past. And I can’t say I am one of those women who consistently radiates inner beauty and peace, as my choleric temperament gets in my way. I get angry still, but not at my abortionist. I get angry when people who share the pews with me negate the pro life movement by painting them all with one brush stroke, or refuse to participate in a pro life event because they perceive it as harsh and judgemental. I have been involved in pro life efforts for over 25 years and have just now shared my post abortion story. For years I and my fellow warriors have suffered the slurs against pro lifers, having never known one of them to taunt, harass, or use horrible and harsh language in the setting of an abortion clinic. It is hurtful to know people have a jaundiced view of you personally and corporately. And rather than being encouraged for our work, we are accused of violence, ignored, marginalized, vilified, and as a result…..gagged!
    You are somewhat right in pointing out the anger. But be careful here. Some people have unrepentant sins around the abortion issue. They are somehow complicit in the issue, either by deed, thought, or inaction. They take the approach of the best defence is a good offence. I can’t defend my complacency, so I make an accusation. They don’t like the message so the shoot the messenger. It’s a bit problematic when the messengers are post abortive women like Theresa and Georgette.
    So we will continue to pray for all those who are abortion minded, those who advocate or perform abortions, and for those who sit idly by and do nothing about this horrific crime. May God bless Silent No More women, you, and all with good intentions who work to expose the harsh reality of abortion.


  17. on December 4, 2013 at 2:58 PM warachelsvineyard@gmail.com

    Gerard – there you go again – where is my anger?

    It is easy for you to say that in my case, since I have not been healed and restored that you can dismiss me and tell me that I have anger issues.

    Have you ever met me? Have you ever met those who know me? No – you have not a clue who I am. How can you decide that I am not healed? Who set you up as being the judge of people?

    What I will respond to you Gerard is that not all post abortive women are the same – we are all uniquely made. God has forgiven and restored me and there is not a thing you can do about that. Your post comes across as being uniting and unifying … and then you write and tell me who I am.

    Thankfully, your opinion of me does not matter – passive/aggressive? look to yourself and reread your post, Gerard.


  18. on December 4, 2013 at 3:15 PM ray sampson

    my new email address is raymondnormansampson452@gmail.com please send my email to that address. thanks ray sampson


  19. on December 4, 2013 at 3:15 PM warachelsvineyard@gmail.com

    Robin – Dr. Theresa Burke is not post abortive, so if you are referencing her in your statement, please know that she is not.

    Gerard has a propensity to slur those whose words he does not like – and then blame them for being unhealed. It is perfectly okay to have anger – I have righteous anger, but in my anger, I try not to sin. One of my anger issues is having a non post abortive person telling me who I am and dismissing me. There is nothing that I wrote in my original post to him that could be taken as being angry – he is reading into it. I was simply pointing out that not all post abortive women are those lovely benign peace-filled women because we are all different. And if a post abortive woman is angry – as you write – it may have nothing to do with her abortion, but Gerard tags it as such …

    Oy Vey …


  20. on December 4, 2013 at 3:17 PM Nancy B

    Thank you Dr. Nadal for always being compassionate, truthful and to the point. If it wasn’t for people like you in the pro-life movement I probably wouldn’t have attended a Rachel’s Vineyard healing retreat in 2007. Because of my healing through Christ and deep love and concern to serve others I am able to be Silent No More. Keep standing up for the truth doc. You are doing an awesome service in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I just heard of the Novena and I will participate starting today. In His service, Nancy B.


  21. on December 4, 2013 at 3:19 PM Theresa Bonopartis

    Thanks Gerard! 🙂 see you tomorrow night…it is going to be great!


  22. on December 4, 2013 at 4:13 PM Gerard M. Nadal

    warachelsvineyard:

    “So – here I am, a forgiven woman – a woman who lost her child to an abortion forty three years ago … and yet, I still fight with people like you in the pro-life movement who write that we post abortive woman are all so wonderful … for that is patronizing and just plain wrong. “

    You’re absolutely right. You are not one of those women who is ‘all so wonderful’. Feel better now?

    You come here, misrepresent my words, then attack me for saying something that I never said.

    But you are right. You are not wonderful. You are passive/aggressive and strut around looking for a fight with anyone who will take you on. Your objections have been duly noted.

    Good day.


  23. on December 4, 2013 at 5:29 PM Random Thoughts

    Gerard, regarding the Novena, I participated in prayer last night though I did not post anything. I’ll continue to participate. And as a post abortive woman who has experienced the fullness of God’s healing and the blessing of four wonderful living children, I can’t tell you how much your words mean to me.

    In my opinion, this is one of your most compassionate and powerful blog entries. I’m not sure why it triggers so much anger in certain quarters. Perhaps such a response speaks of the mindset and heart condition of the reader and not that of the writer.


  24. on December 4, 2013 at 5:55 PM Mary Harrison

    Gerard I too participated. I believe that we must be a forgiving people. God is our only judge. Thank you for this entry. I only hope people realize they are condemning themselves by such hatred. Keep up the good work.


  25. on December 4, 2013 at 6:04 PM Lisa Twaronite

    Don’t worry — I’m not “back.” I don’t intend to be a regular commenter here again (though I will continue to read from time to time). You claim that there is not a trace of the bad kind of anger in calling someone “depraved” — not their deeds, nor their beliefs, but the person herself — and that when you sarcastically tell the person she’s “mother of the year” and tell her to “Get well soon!” you mean it entirely in the spirit of love? Sure.
    Your compassion for dead abortionists contrasts with your apparent contempt for living people who hold opinions with which you disagree. I’m just pointing out the inconsistency.


  26. on December 4, 2013 at 7:19 PM pt-109

    Ah, Twaronite, back as predicted (you never really left). Feeling a little low and lonely? Come now, soak a little while in Dr. Nadal’s hot tub. Be a child again, and rid yourself of your mental burdens! Then go, in a huff if you must, for a period of time, until you take stock of your life once again and the urge to return gets too great. Then we’ll look forward to see you here again, bright and happy, nice and balanced, just like always!


  27. on December 4, 2013 at 8:18 PM Lisa Twaronite

    Hello, pt-109 — it’s true, I never really left, I just became a lurker, the vast majority of the time (and lurkers aren’t know for coming & going “in a huff”). You know, I think Dr, Nadal is probably among the last people on earth in whose hot tub I ever expect to soak — both literally and figuratively.


  28. on December 4, 2013 at 9:03 PM pt-109

    I meant figuratively. If you ever come by for a soak literately, forget about trespassing, I’ll have you arrested for terrorism!


  29. on December 4, 2013 at 9:18 PM Lisa Twaronite

    Don’t worry — I would never inflict the sight of my naked, middle-aged body on anyone unwilling to view it. Um, except for immediate family members. And random strangers if I forget to close my curtains.


  30. on December 4, 2013 at 9:28 PM Gerard M. Nadal

    As I age, more and more I see the wisdom in clothes.


  31. on December 4, 2013 at 9:31 PM Ellen Kolb

    I need and value your call to prayer. I’ve been doing pro-life work too long to think anyone is beyond the mercy of God. I don’t know what was going through Dr. Booker’s mind in his last earthly moments, but I can pray for his soul and trust God to take it from there.


  32. on December 5, 2013 at 2:55 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    Lisa, I meant every word that I have ever said to you. In context, here is the blog post and comment section from which you are cherry-picking your comments. Back then you were posting under your first initial, L.

    You seem to think that Catholicism practiced properly means no judgment about depraved behavior, no condemnation of the behavior or assessment of the health of the depraved individual. You’re wrong. Try reading all of what Jesus and St. Paul said and did. They were tough men.

    I rightly called you on your commentary back then and would do exactly so again under the same circumstances. Loving the sinner, especially those who become synonymous with their beliefs and actions first requires a frank assessment. I don’t retreat from a single word I said. If that makes me a bad Catholic or inconsistent blogger in your eyes, I won’t lose any sleep over it. “Get well soon,” is both a stern rebuke and an honest wish for the future when I say it. I stand by that too.


  33. on December 5, 2013 at 3:04 AM Lisa Twaronite

    Ooooh, feel the loooooooooove!
    Here’s your own words above, back at ya: “We need to eradicate this by identifying those with such bitter and angry hearts, and then minister to them until they heal. Whatever their anger is about, I suspect that it has roots elsewhere and that abortion is a proxy war for what is really going on. Whatever the cause it must be addressed.”

    I suspect your anger at me has its roots elsewhere — and I may never know exactly where. Good luck addressing it — get well soon, Dr. Nadal!


  34. on December 5, 2013 at 3:25 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    Thank you, Lisa. And you do the same! 🙂


  35. on December 5, 2013 at 3:30 AM Lisa Twaronite

    Merry Christmas, from this depraved individual — to you, your family and all who cast their shadows in your comments.


  36. on December 5, 2013 at 4:02 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    God is waiting with open arms, Lisa. I’ve told you that before. Surrender takes far less energy and is completely healing. Find someone to walk that road with you. Merry Christmas.


  37. on December 5, 2013 at 4:07 AM Lisa Twaronite

    There is no need for surrender — God calls all of us in different ways, and I’m quite sure that I am living my life according to His particular plan for me.
    (But I think He might be a bit disappointed that I’ve gone back to wasting time commenting on blogs….)


  38. on December 5, 2013 at 12:08 PM pt-109

    Twaronite, was it Patrick Henry who said: “I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend with my life your right to say it”? Let me modify this quote, ever so slightly, to suit this conversation: “I may agree with some of what you say, but oh — how I wish you’d shut up already!”


  39. on December 5, 2013 at 2:33 PM Robin

    Dr Nadal
    I read in your post a description of a healed post abortive woman that at first glance looks very homogenous. But I think you took it further when you seem to suggest that those who don’t manifest the traits, are yet un healed. I am hoping there is room in the pro life economy for all, whether or not they radiate those inner qualities. It is a chronic problem in the pro life culture. Those who choose a more aggressive approach or a more in your face dialogue are often mis-read as being un Christian, not compassionate, and un loving. I suggest that every approach needs to be taken. It is not a cookie cutter world and some messages need to be stronger to get through hardened heads and hearts. Perhaps this is where we choleric, A types can be of use.
    I wish I could be more like the women you describe. It’s a real Mary Martha conundrum. Sadly, I am not. I struggle with my temperament. It does not suggest that I remain un healed…..just stubborn.
    So there has to be room for that heterogenous post abortive culture that you acknowledged. Not everyone can relate to the p/a woman you describe. So I guess what I am trying to say is widen the view. The ideal you spoke of can be exclusive and isolating, simply because you don’t fit the profile.


  40. on December 5, 2013 at 3:17 PM Gerard M. Nadal

    Robin,

    I didn’t write a prescription for post-abortive women. I merely wrote of my experience of the post-abortive women in the pro-life movement. There is no doubt a very heterogeneous population, and in the past I have written of the psychiatric post-abortive sequellae and the great value in post-abortion healing ministries. From the very outset I have had two sections of links on the right hand side of the Home Page that direct people to post-abortion healing resources.

    That I have been taken to task as I have for writing as I have in this one blog post has been something of a surprise. As for who is unhealed, no I didn’t take it further. I was addressing one person who pukes all over people and dares a response, all calibrated to make the response look like bullying. It’s troll-like behavior, and I’ve asked her to leave the blog in the past because of that behavior. That sort of anger shows very incomplete healing at best. Yes, there is plenty of room in the pro-life economy for choleric, A-types. But there is no room in the economy of this blog for bullies of any stripe. When they show up here they get warned, then if they don’t change they get as good as they give; because as you rightly point out, there is plenty of room in the pro-life economy for choleric A-types.

    So, no, I wasn’t presenting any sort of ideal, just my personal experience with the women in the movement.

    God Bless.


  41. on December 5, 2013 at 3:51 PM genericmum

    I prayed for him, Gerard, but am not taking part in the Novena. I agree it is a ‘wholesome thought’ to pray for the dead.
    This bitterness within the prolife movement to which you refer is so unpleasant, and tends to split the ranks into baby-defenders on one hand and woman-defenders on the other. I’ve even seen a recent letter to a wonderful prolife Bishop criticising him for offering ‘too much support’ to women contemplating abortion.
    This kind of thing is not at all helpful, but at least we have Pope Francis to keep pointing us in the direction we need to go – out into the streets to spread the Gospel of Life.
    God bless, and I like the WP snow.


  42. on December 6, 2013 at 4:51 AM Lisa Twaronite

    pt-109, since you asked — it was actually Voltaire who said that. Patrick Henry was the “Give-me-liberty-or-give-me-death” guy.
    Free speech, liberty….it’s all good.


  43. on December 6, 2013 at 11:31 AM pt-109

    Ms. Twaronite, indeed the quote was attributed to Voltaire, but it cannot be found in his writings. It was posthumously written about him to reflect his attitude. At least one of our American Founding Fathers did use the quote, however. Meanwhile, what quote should we use to characterize your attitude? “Anger be now your song, immortal one, Lisa’s anger, doomed and ruinous…”


  44. on December 6, 2013 at 6:47 PM Lisa Twaronite

    Sorry, was never much into that ancient Greek stuff. And I’m not angry — just snarky, and I don’t think Homer had any good quotes about snark.
    Do I get to pick my own? If so, I’d like to quote the late Hunter S. Thompson:
    “No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride…and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well…maybe chalk it off to forced conscious expansion.”


  45. on December 6, 2013 at 8:45 PM pt-109

    Twaronite, you’ve an image of yourself that your apparently treasure, but you’re as predictably sad and lonely an frustrated and angry as Halley’s comet is in a predictable orbit around the sun. Now, according to my watch, you will leave here for a while, realizing that you have wasted your time and energy yet again. However, I expect you back in a few months to try to get under Dr. Nadal’s skin. (Good lucks with that, by the way.) Until then, safe travels.


  46. on December 6, 2013 at 8:58 PM Lisa Twaronite

    pt-109, since you know me so well, can you explain to me why I’m supposed to be “sad and lonely and frustrated and angry?” Sorry, I just don’t understand why anyone would think that. Do you picture me living alone, or with a few dozen cats, maybe?
    (And actually, I proved to be exceptionally GOOD at getting under Dr. Nadal’s skin, judging by the post he linked above, which is why I stopped commenting.)
    .
    Also, care to drop your pseudonym as I did, and tell us your real name — or are you worried that if you do, we’d Google you and find things you don’t want us to see? Since we often tend to see reflections of ourselves in others, it’s possible you’re “sad and lonely and frustrated and angry” yourself? If so, in those words Dr. Nadal loves so much, “Get well soon.” Seriously. I’ve done a lot of work in nursing homes, and I wouldn’t wish “sad/lonely/frustrated/angry” on anyone.


  47. on December 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM pt-109

    Oy vey!


  48. on December 7, 2013 at 12:25 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    LT,

    pt-109 and I were classmates at Columbia University. 109 is a brilliant scholar, has a beautiful family, and uses a pseudonym because academia doesn’t appreciate people who don’t walk lockstep with the leftist agenda. Something to do with tolerance and inclusivity…

    Please don’t flatter yourself. In the post I linked, it was a time when I took seriously that you were serious but deluded. Now I just accept that you’re not serious. If, however, you begin your troll-like behaviors again, I’ll simply ask you to leave again. You can turn your own blog into a radioactive wasteland.

    Back to 109. I’ve met few, very few, people whose decency and integrity, intellect and humor, family life and professional acumen can rival that of 109. Stick to heckling me, because with 109 you are WAY out of your league.


  49. on December 7, 2013 at 5:27 AM Lisa Twaronite

    Columbia! Me, too — Journalism, ’91. Took lots of classes over at SIPA, too.
    And as I recall, I told you in an email I was leaving your blog for a while, so I guess it’s a “you-can’t-quit-because-you’re-fired” sort of thing. I no longer have a blog — or maybe “radioactive wasteland” was a coy reference to the nuclear crisis over here?
    I’ll have to take your word for it that pt-109 is brilliant, but he’s completely wrong about me being “sad and lonely and frustrated and angry,” and I am truly curious why he would think that about someone he never met (but who knows, maybe we did meet back at Columbia, when all four of those words did indeed describe me to some extent.)
    And if I’m not serious, then why ever would I have started to comment here using my full real name?
    I mean everything I say — including Merry Christmas.


  50. on December 7, 2013 at 6:41 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    Wow! We were all there together. Post-bac pre-med at the School of General Studies 89-92. Practically lived in Havemeyer Hall doing chemistry. One of 109’s doctorates is from there!

    Speaking of the radiation issue there, are the reports true that the plant is close to meltdown? Will you be returning to the states?

    As for serious, I am serious when I tell you that God is waiting with open arms and no questions asked. I too am sincere when I say Merry Christmas. Truce?


  51. on December 7, 2013 at 7:56 AM Lisa Twaronite

    See, though. when you say “God is waiting,” you imply I’ve turned my back on Him, when I haven’t. You think I’m alone, when I’m not.

    As for Fukushima, three reactors partially melted after 3-11, and they’re still cleaning up the site. It will take years, and it’s been a comedy — no, make that a tragedy — of errors. Tokyo is far enough away that we chose to stay put, though I confess I’m a little more careful about buying groceries than I was before, and avoiding certain things.

    As for a truce, there has to be a war, and I never intended one — I’ve been reading your blog since December 2009, just a few weeks after you started blogging (I’ve forgotten how I found it, but earlier that year, I was on the board of my kids’ Catholic school, so I was reading a lot of Catholic blogs at the time).

    I didn’t agree with you then any more than do now. The only difference was, I used only my first initial on my comments, and on my own blog because I used to write a lot about my children, and I wanted to protect their privacy — but since they’re older now, I’m fully “out of the closet.” And even though pt-109 predicts, “you will leave here for a while, realizing that you have wasted your time and energy yet again…” I have never thought it was time wasted. Arguing is interesting! And so is just reading your blog, or I wouldn’t have bothered all these years.

    I did cut way back on my blog commenting, though, for the same reason I stopped blogging myself: too little free time.


  52. on December 7, 2013 at 10:14 AM Lisa Twaronite

    …..to clarify, I mean, in order for there to be a truce, there first has to be a war. I realize that sentence as I first wrote it can be read two ways!
    Really, no war is intended. We’re both fighting The Culture War, of course, but on two different fronts — I’m raising my family, thousands of miles away from you, and we only overlap here on the Internet.
    But if we did have a truce, I imagine it would be a lot like this one:
    http://www.1914-1918.net/truce.htm


  53. on December 7, 2013 at 6:46 PM pt-109

    Dr. Nadal, ….to clarify, I think she means “yes, truce.” You were extremely gracious and generous to her, in my opinion. You’re a good model for me this holiday season! Thank you! Have a very merry Christmas and give our best to yours.

    Twaronite, I’m do not deserve Dr. Nadal’s kind words, but given the scarcity of such compliments on this side of skid row, I’m grateful for them. The man also offered you a truce (“an agreement between enemies or opponents to stop fighting or arguing for a certain time”), and for some strange reason you don’t seem to accept his diction, be clear yourself, or generally respond like a mensch. But that was all predictable, in all seriousness. Nonetheless, in the spirit of kindness that Dr. Nadal (alone I’m afraid) displayed, I wish you and your family happy holidays and a happy new year!


  54. on December 7, 2013 at 11:20 PM Lisa Twaronite

    “… for some strange reason you don’t seem to accept his diction, be clear yourself, or generally respond like a mensch..” –>
    Alas, I thought I had done all three. Let me try again: I do not consider myself to be “at war” with Dr. Nadal, and personally bear him no ill will. I repeat what I said far above: Merry Christmas to the doctor and his family and to all who cast their shadows in comments on this blog. That includes you, too, pt-109, and I’ll extend it to your family as well.


  55. on December 8, 2013 at 11:23 AM Gerard M. Nadal

    I have long-lamented the major deficiency in the blogosphere: Distance. I’m a bit of a dinosaur, but I’ve long maintained that commentary would be more civil, more to the point and far better overall if we could actually get together periodically and share a meal and a few drinks. There is always a trade-off, and the reach of the blogosphere comes at the price of having the fullness of human relationships, of looking into people’s eyes, hearing the slight inflection in their voice, noting body language, and simply being able to reach out and touch them, which is the most basic mode of all human communication.

    Let me know when you’re going to be stateside, Lisa. I’d love to have dinner with you. Perhaps I could get 109 to come along. 🙂


  56. on December 8, 2013 at 12:35 PM pt-109

    As long as we’re a few hundred yards from a hot tub at all times, I’ll be there!


  57. on December 8, 2013 at 5:30 PM Lisa Twaronite

    Similarly, if either of you ever make it to Tokyo, I will take you out for a meal you will never forget. And if you like hot tubs, there are plenty of Japanese hot springs, too — don’t worry, co-ed ones are extremely rare.

    I think, though, that I won’t be making it to the greater NY area anytime soon, because my spouse was recently transferred to Chicago for a few years. The kids & I stayed in Tokyo, so our vacation time & travel funds are going to be earmarked for family visits for a while. But if you ever make it to Chicago…?

    I am just as snarky in person. But since I somehow manage to keep great friends in real life, I suppose it’s tempered with something else.


  58. on December 8, 2013 at 7:00 PM pt-109

    Dr. Nadal has brought out a better side of you, Lisa. I think I will create a new breed of dog after him. The St. Gerard. It will search for snarky people and carry a jug filled with warm holiday cheer. This new breed will consist of a judicious mix of 25% English Bulldog, 25% Irish Setter, 25% Italian Greyhound, and 25% Spanish Water Dog, sprinkled on top with Linguica sausage.


  59. on December 8, 2013 at 7:33 PM Lisa Twaronite

    That’s ironic, since I sometimes bring out the worst side of Dr. Nadal. 😉


  60. on December 9, 2013 at 11:44 AM Charlotte Ostermann

    Dr. Nadal, thank you for a beautiful post. We are on the same wavelength at 50MillionNames.org. On the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, we’ll open the website where you can give names for the aborted children. We ask for prayer for their relatives and abortionists, believing, as you do, that this what they would earnestly desire. We hope this registry helps bring healing, and welcome both women who have had abortions and those who have not to link themselves intimately to particular, unrepeatable babies by giving them names. I hope you’ll appreciate what we’re doing, and let people know. There is no charge, and we are encouraging donations to other pro-life organizations in honor of the children named, so no competition with the fantastic pro-life work being done by others. Thanks again, Dr. Nadal, for your humanity. Violence is not the end of the story!



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